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a scream that is not mine

Elle wakes by her Darling Man’s side, and goes to watch the sunrise, as Paris slowly awakes.

She knows the rhythm and daily habits of the women who live in the flats opposite; she watches them every morning, she observes.

Elle’s morning is played out to the soundscape of the neighbour’s wife going about her day in the most silent way; she is a simpering kind.

Oscillating between what is real and what is in her mind, A scream that is not mine, is a poetic monologue that observes the complexities of a loving relationship where two people lose themselves in a passion that was once shared but now veers to one of codependency and obsession.

What is the moment, that space in our mind, which is wedged between our understanding that we are in an abusive relationship and the decision that eclipses our rational, and makes us stay?


based on the monologue

"A scream that is not mine"

Voilà Europe Festival

(Online edition)

Performance 16th November 2020

Text improvised on writing

by Colleen Cameron

for 65% Theatre

Director/Producer Alex Kampfner

Assistant Producer Sara Bird

Performed by Marie Zabukovec

Music by Benedict Taylor

Filmed by Coraline Benetti

Lights by Quentin Maudet

CELINE, based on the text of a scream that is not mine, 65% Theatre.

The idea for A scream that is not mine began when Alex Kampfner of 65% Theatre reached out during the spring lockdown, and highlighted the issue that the number of domestic abuse cases had increased, as victims were trapped and unable to escape from their abuser.


I wanted to write about subtle manipulation, which I believe is at the source of relationships that could develop into situations of domestic abuse; how it can go unnoticed or indeed be used ourselves.


The monologue is also about a woman’s “role” and how she exists when she is observed and observes herself solely in accordance to her relationship with a man. The piece highlights the confusing time that women live in now, where within one breath we are told that we have to look attractive and stay looking young, but not attract the wrong sort of attention.


What are the lies we tell ourselves to hold onto the illusion that we have fallen in love with?

Is it the illusion we love rather than the person in front of us?

We all have the capacity to recognise something that is bad for us, and choose to do it anyway.

Trailer for CELINE, based on the text of "a scream that is not mine", 65% Theatre.

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